Luke Wilson?!

I realize Luke Wilson is a real person and not a character in these ads per se, but I beg to differ. In these omnipresent AT&T ads, he plays the part of a doughy fat guy with horribly thin hair plastered to his head and the world's most hideous eyebrows.
He is not handsome, not even remotely sexy and he makes me glad I'm gay.
You know he's creepy when his creepy brother Owen Wilson is the more attractive brother.
How would I kill this character?
I'd stuff him full of cell phones until he explodes.