Even the Devil Can Hire a Pretty Spokeslut

"Here's the good news about energy: ExxonMobil's profits for 2008 were well over forty billion dollars!"

If you have seen any of the news shows on any of the channels, then you'll recognize the Oil Slut.


The folks at "energy tomorrow dot org" have put up a spiffy web site and are pouring millions of dollars, with all of the abandon of a leaking supertanker, into a PR campaign whose main message is "drill everywhere."

What those putzim hope you never figure out is that petroleum is a commodity. When demand for oil spikes again, everyone in the oil business from the people pumping it out of the ground to the refiners will make a shitload of money and it doesn't matter where they are in the world. When you deal with commodities, even purely local action has an effect on the larger prices, which is what Wickard v. Filburn was about. If crude oil goes to $150 a barrel again, we all will be paying well over $4 for a gallon of gasoline again, and it won't matter at the pump whether the oil wells are in Oklahoma, the Gulf of Mexico, Russia or Saudi Arabia.

What the Oil Slut and the other the folks at "energy tomorrow" are fighting for is a larger share of that $150 and that is all. There is no patriotism driving their message, only greed.

Oil is a commodity that is sold on a world market. Once you understand that point, a point that the oil industry is spending millions of dollars to obscure, then you can understand that there is no difference between reducing our dependence on foreign oil and reducing our dependence on oil. Then you can understand why the words "alternative sources of energy" strike fear into the hearts of the Oil Slut and her employers.

Heart-stopping fear.

Torturously Annoying

Jack Bauer:

I have no problem with "24," as a pure television drama. I thought the concept was interesting, at first, though the storyline was a bit much. And if it had stayed a middling "super-secret-agent" television show, that would have been fine.

But it didn't. Just like Archie Bunker legitimized being an ignorant bigot, Jack Bauer has been used by those of the Right who, at their core, really do hate freedom and liberty, as an argument for dismantling our civil liberties and protections. The morally-challenged morons in Dick Cheney's office used Jack Bauer as an argument for the de facto legalization of the committing of war crimes by people in the American government. A sitting justice of the Supreme Court has referred to Jack Bauer as justification for truncating the rule of law and the right of access to the courts.

The Right's greatest justification for the use of torture has been a fictional character. Think about that for a minute and then substitute "Santa Claus" for "Jack Bauer" to see how utterly insane that truly is. Imagine a vice president of the United States or a Supreme Court justice using Santa Claus in an argument for any purpose, and you will instantly see how low this country has sunk.

It is not Jack Bauer's fault. But he has been a harbinger of our descent into the status of being the most heavily armed rogue nation in world history. For that, he needs to die soon.

Annoying Propaganda Critters

This is "Decipher Dog," one of the little cartoon characters that the National Security Agency to tell your children that "fascism is fun!"

Note that the NSA, which for decades tried hard to deny their very existence, has trademarked their kiddie bait.

But it gets worse, much worse. This is Herman, the "spokescrab" for FEMA for Kids.

They use a crab because crabs have all of the characteristics that has made FEMA beloved by all: They have no real brains, they have a nasty disposition and when danger rears its ugly head, they run and hide.

These characters have all of the charm of Joe Camel. They seek to gloss over the existence of agencies who run the gamut from utterly incompetent to incredibly sinister.

Mulling It Over

I sort of think that for reasons of good taste, that this blog ought to deal with the proposed killing off of fictional characters and leave the calls for killing real people to the lunatics on the far Right.

Having said that, I am not at all sure where to draw the line. Exhibit A: Billo the Clown.

I'm not convinced that he is indeed a real person, for he seems to be too much of a caricature along the lines of Stephen Colbert's "Colbert Report."

Any thoughts?