Friday, June 25, 2010

Kill These "Characters"

Now, of course I'm not suggesting anyone kill these actual people, I'm merely suggesting that the characters Jake and Vienna should be killed.
Let's set the scene. It's twilight on a windswept California beach.
The smooching couple is huddled together under a cashmere throw, watching the approaching helicopter.
As the helicopter begins to land, sand whips up and abrades both their faces into livid red mush, blinding them in the process.
As they wretch in agony, the chopper's pilot and co-pilot wrangle them forcefully into the helicopter. Just as the chopper reaches the dividing line between the Crips and the Bloods territories in Compton, the couple are thrown from the helicopter while it's hovering a thousand feet in the air.
Breaking up is hard to do.
(cue: On the Wings of Love)


  1. The Bachelor Jake Pavelka and the whorrid bride he selected named Vienna. They have since split up.
    Since The Bachelor is a set up show, these people played characters.


Please, no spam.