Wednesday, April 29, 2009
Where, oh where do I start?
First, the King himself is pure therapy fodder for any kiddies who watch his shiny, pedophiley face and gigantic noggin perched upon his normal adult male body, which incidentally is wearing a freakin' skirt, bobby socks and pointy Mary Janes.
But with burger joints like BK to blame for kazillions of obese children, are square butts really something they should be shooting for?
Didja ever see a woman with a square butt? Was she skinny?
No, she was not.
Butts are not square by nature. It takes a lotta lard to get a butt to turn square, unless you're a yellow kitchen sponge, and they don't exist, much less eat burgers.
And besides, this ad featuring square butts shows rectangular butts, not square butts.
It would be like Sesame Street characters singing 'The Circle Game' while playing with ovals.
And what's with calling them butts?
When I was little, butt was a bad word. I guess now a three-year-old tells his pediatrician he doesn't want a shot in his butt?
So let's review:
The King is creepy enough.
Sir Mix-a-Lot's original song, "I Like Big Butts" refers to a sexual preference, and should toddlers start preferring certain types of body parts at that age?
Sponge Bob Squarepants is almost as creepy as The King.
Square butts are nothing to shoot for.
Rectangles are not squares.
'Butt' is too mature a word for toddlers to be throwing around.
How would I kill this character?
With telephone book-piercing ammunition and a couple of blasts to the butt.