Tuesday, May 5, 2009

FGetch a large scrub brush and a bucket of lard.

Robert Pattison is the greasy, whiny, emo douche who plays a greasy, whiny emo douche vampire that sparkles in "Twilight."

As far as I can tell, his only real talent as an actor is that he repels soap and makes little tweener girls squee at ear-shattering pitches.

Can we 86 the sparkly vampire and relegate this guy to third-line fry cook at Bob's House of Vinegar and Water?


  1. I just didn't think this was something I would like.. it didn't make a lot of sense to me from the get go. Vampires are scary..not love interests.. how can you fall in love with something that is going to suck your blood and kill you or make you immortal.. that just goes against all that Bela Legosi stood for... Send Bela or Vincent Price after him and show him what a real vampire is .. scare the pee down both legs and that will do him in....lol

  2. But do you really want such a scuzzy-looking guy cooking food?

  3. He is a skanky looking character. Put him in the bin where I can buy him for what he's worth and sell him for what he thinks he's worth.

  4. I have to hand it to the casting director, though. From the guys my oldest daughter's liked, there is realism in choosing an emotionally inept kid to play being irresistible. From my experience, this is what teenage girls (and boys?) are after.

    I think it's evolution's way of saying, "You're not supposed to marry the first person you fall in love with."


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