If ever there was anyone in need of a ground-glass-and-habanero enema, it's this guy:
Billy Mays -- late-night Crap Pimp Extraordinaire!
This moldy douchebag has his own Wikipedia page, and hawks a staggering forty-damn-three different products "not available in stores, call now and we'll supersize your order for only $19.95!"
All sales pitches are delivered at a staggeringly loud decibel level, with an increasing level of hysteria and enthusiasm, guaranteed to make you want to grab a firearm and Elvis your TV.
Can this guy just choke on a wad of mighty putty?