As a young man, Indiana Jones rode with Pancho Villa. He fought the Germans in East Africa and was in the French Army during the Battle of Verdun. 40 years later, he is hiding inside a lead-lined refrigerator when a hydrogen bomb goes off less than a mile away; the `fridge is thrown across the desert and he comes out without a bruise, let alone a broken bone or six. A little while later, Jones is in the Amazon jungle, trading punches with a Russian soldier twice his size and a third his age.
Yeah, right. Even the U.S. Army won't take men over 42 and that is downright ancient for engaging in soldiering, but there is AARP Jones, running around the jungle and fighting the Russians.
Strap this character to a scooter chair and make him listen to Wilford Brimley ads.