Thursday, August 21, 2008

Shrink, I Wanna Kill. Kill! Kill!

Clippy is fully annoying in its own right. That paperclip should be folded, spindled, mutilated and thrown into the recycle bin.

In this instance, I am using that critter as a stand-in for the evil fucks at Redmond, WA, home of MicroSoft, aka MickeySpooge, aka the Root of All Evil.

So there I was, getting ready to shut down. I was reading one last web page, no other apps were open. I turned my head to pet a cat when, out of the corner of my eye, I spied the Blue Screen of Death, which flashed and then my computer rebooted itself. Then it had to check the disk for inconsistency, in case one of the platters had turned into tapioca.

I hate Microsoft. Hate, hate, hate. I hate their bloatware and their vaporware. I'd hate their souls, if they had any, which I seriously doubt. The only thing I love about Microsoft is that every time one of those pompous fucks leaves the computer world and tries to do anything else, they take a serious financial beating. In the world of computing, Microsoft is a cross between Saddam Hussein, Kim Jong Il and George W. Bush. There is nothing to like about them and each OS they develop seems to be suckier than the one preceding it (except for Bob and Windows-ME, which achieved rarified levels of suckiness only reached by Heckuvajob Brownie and Herbert Hoover).

About the only thing worse than Microsoft are the Apple-bots, which are almost as annoying as your local door-to-door evangelists. Everything is "proprietary" with those clowns, meaning "you're going to pay 50% more." Apple's greed and maniacal desire to control everything is the reason why the PC whipped Apple's ass in the 1980s, allowing PCs to gain a death grip on the American workplace. Not knowing how to run a PC means you might as well be bragging about how well you can use a slide rule, so even if Apple products are "better," for most of the business world, Apples are about as useful as Strom Thurmond.

Anyway, I'm seriously considering going back to writing cuneiform on mud tablets. It can't be any more of a pain in the ass than dealing with software from Microsoft.


  1. i now hate paper clips

    staples only!

  2. That goddamn paper clippy always jumps in the way of whatever I am writing and makes me have to stop and deal with his stupid wiry ass.
    And I can't figure out how to turn him off.

  3. I deteest that Clippy thing. I don't have it activated but once in awhile when I'd get a new computer or something, it would be on. If I tried to do anything there it would be, saying cheerfully, "Hi! It seems you are trying to write a letter! Do you need help?" NO NO NO. I don't need help! Go away!

  4. Um, deteest. It's a very strong type of hatred. So strong it needed an extra "e." ;-)

  5. Just hook Clippy up to the two terminals of a big 6-volt battery. Wait for him to melt.


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