Friday, August 22, 2008

Waste This Federal Douchebag

Fox Mulder.

Even though the FBI at times seems to be unable to conduct an investigation of a one-car crash (even when the driver blew .35 on a Breathalyzer), it's hard to conceive of even the Feebies being goofy enough to put up with this delusional douchebag.

Let's skip past the tragedy that undoubtedly some moron named his or her son after this clown. It's probably a good thing that this show came about before a lot of the basic cable channels began offering original dramas. Otherwise, this waste of carbon might have been named "Lifetime Mulder."

This character isn't just wearing a tinfoil hat, he wears tinfoil underwear. In a world where our own government can't competently run a two-car parade, in order to buy the crap handed out as a premise by the X-Files, you have to buy into the notion of an overarching conspiracy at something (when they were not dealing with alien abductions or other similarly loony concepts.)

Why Dana Scully didn't (a) request a new partner; or (b) just shoot this goofball in the head is beyond me. You have to suspect that she had really screwed the pooch in an earlier post to be saddled with this guy. Even being assigned to the FBI sub-sub-field office in North Dakota had to be better than being assigned to follow this drooling idiot around the country.

Fox needs to be locked in a car in summer and then die because Scully can't find the keys to let him out.

1 comment:

  1. Ah, but remember...X-Files had the best slogan, a metaphor for how to think about our government - "Trust No One."

    Without Fox, we wouldn't have that advice!


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