The eHarmony old dude:
eHarmony is the online dating service for heterosexual Right-wingers who have repulsed everyone they know in their towns. If you are are gay, liberal, have had a few relationships or are not a Christian, eHarmony is going to tell you to fuck off.
Undiagnosed syphilis for this guy.
Update: It took the folks at eHarmony less than five hours to find this via the Google.