Wednesday, August 6, 2008

Toby Keith.

KarenZipdrive's First Entry

[Well, he's a real person but he plays a character on stage and in his music. He's actually a pretty sane guy in real life but his character acts like a redneck asshole (see, Stephen Colbert).]

Country music is bad enough, but Toby Keith lands at the top of the manure pile with his redneck, redwhite&blue bullshit crusade.

Like John McCain, once-renegade Toby Keith started out as just another C&W singer out of Oklahoma with a mullet and a confederate flag tacked to the sheet rock on stage behind him.
But once Bush got us into a war and started saying stuff like, "Bring it on," Keith, who calls himself a "conservative Democrat" jumped on the neo-con bandwagon and recorded an obnoxious, hyper patriotic song called, "Courtesy of the red, white and blue."

The Dixie Chicks' lead singer Natalie Maines said the song was ignorant, then a war broke out between Keith and Maines.

He launched the first grenade by hanging a huge Photoshopped photo of Maines standing next to Saddam Hussein as a backdrop at one of his concerts.

She won that battle when she wore a T-shirt to the Country Music Awards with the initials "FUTK" printed on the front. Her spokesman said it stood for "Friends United for Truth and Kindness," but Maines later admitted it stood for "Fuck U Toby Keith."

Maines went on to win the war by scoring several Grammys for her get-even song, "I'm not Ready to Make Nice."

If you live in Texas, you also have to face exposure to near constant Ford pick-up truck ads featuring Keith in a sweaty, sleeveless cowboy shirt and a bent-up straw hat doing all manner of farm and ranch work to display the truck's toughness.

Yeah, right.



  1. AMEN! My god, if I ever have to hear "We'll put a boot in yer ass!" one more fucking time, I'll put a bullet in my brain. Hey, Toby, how's that ass-booting going over in EYE-rack now, asshole?


  2. No, DGuz! Put the bullet in his brain. Whoops. Sorry, I'm not usually inciting violence.

    Welcome to the deep end of the pool, KarenZipDrive! You started off with a bang!

  3. The only country songs I can tolerate are "Goodbye, Earl" and "I spent My Last Ten Dollars on Birth Control and Beer."

    As for the rest, they all seem to be a variation of "my wife took my pick-em-up truck, ran over my dawg and run off with my best fren' and lawd, how I miss dat truck!"

  4. Songs about lynching aren't funny? No there're not you fucking jackass Toby!

  5. I was in Vegas with a girlfriend who just had to eat at his signature restaurant. Drunken disaster place.

  6. He's got a restaurant?
    I wonder if they serve hog snouts as a tribute to his porcine face?


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